Meditation Monday - Silly Filly

I'll bet you're wondering what on earth this title is all about. Late last year, God spoke to me from a portion of His word:

Then I realized that my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside. I was so foolish and ignorant — I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you. Yet I still belong to you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever. ~ Psalm 73:21-26

One translation says 'I must have seemed like a foolish horse to You.' And for whatever reason I named it the 'silly filly' verse and God reminded me of it occassionally when I needed His discipline...when my heart was bitter and I wasn't forgiving. This morning I had to forgive again, and remind myself that God remains the strength of my heart. That He is mine forever. I'm not in this on my own. I don't have to do it alone. More than anyone, God knows what it's like to be hurt, to feel angry and betrayed. He knows what it is to forgive.

I had to remind myself about some points from Wednesday night.

This last week, friends of ours from YWAM Jeffreys Bay came to share with our discipleship group. They spoke to us about forgiveness. This is a huge topic that needs to be revisited again and again but it was a really good way to get us thinking and talking about it.

For some, it opened old wounds that hadn't healed, and where we'd not forgiven. I'd felt peaceful on the night, but this morning I realised that I was hearing the silly filly verse in my head again. I'd been sharing my experience with two close girl friends and as I spoke the words that had been the most hurtful and 'framed' the experience for me, I realised again why I tell folks not to let those painful words run like a stuck record through your mind. Capture those thoughts as they start and think of something that reminds you that you're thankful to God for His goodness.
When we don't forgive and we work ourselves up over something, it can turn into bitterness or even a desire for revenge, which we talked about on Thursday, here on The Vine. God has a great deal to say about bitterness and unforgiveness in His word. We'll look a little more at that down the line.

Some things about forgiveness:

> is not a feeling, it's an act of the will.
> is a once off and then again each time you're reminded of the hurt. Something like 'keep on keeping on'.
> doesn't mean that the person or organisation know or understand what they did to hurt you. For example, Jesus prays from the cross “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” Luke 23
> sets YOU free.
> allows you to be forgiven by God, too. "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those that sin against us." Luke 11:1-4
> doesn't mean that trust or healing happens instantly.

Hmnn...lots to ponder. We'll be back at this subject soon, I'm sure. Have a great Monday!

Testimony Tuesday - Transparency

Yesterday was my best friend's birthday. You know this kind of person. The story of your life would be very little story if all the bits that included them were left out.

Today's testimony is a little part of my own God-story. One of the things that God taught me along the way is the value of being vulnerable. And transparent. Like a tree without leaves.

Sounds scary, doesn't it? I thought so, too.

My friend and I had been friends for easily 15 or so years when one day, out of the blue, I realised that our friendship could stay the same, or it could grow. Even after all that time. But the growing meant being brave. Very brave. It meant opening my heart to her. Telling her things that I'd never told anyone before. Being real. Being willing to expose who I was underneath and the bits of myself that I really (really) didn't like at all.

Someone had to go first. I took a deep breath and jumped. I said out loud the things that scared me. The things that made me cry on the inside. The things that made me feel ashamed. My secret hopes and dreams. The ones I barely acknowledged to myself.

And now? I can't not be her friend because she knows too much about me!

Now our friendship is written on so many of the pages of my life. It's scripted in bold, italics, and so many different colours and styles. Our friendship has made my life rich and full. And free. Noone tells you about that. They don't tell you that it sets you free. It makes you whole again. Transparency and vulnerability is part of God's design for true friendship.

James 5:16 says

"Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed."

You can read an awesome story of two friends in 1 Samuel from chapters 18 to 21.

What have you got?

Acts 3:6 Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk."

Acts 3:1-10

What have you got? Or Whom?

And are you giving that away?